The Canadian Pinata

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The Canadian Pinata

Post: # 176Post Hannibal
Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:18 am

Tuesday Night Thunder
Reed Arena - College Station, TX

"Scared" by the Tragically Hip begins to play and the capacity crowd rises to its feet as "The Extreme Icon" Hannibal steps out onto the Thunder stage and makes his way down to the ring. Fans cheer as he enters the ring and start chanting "Questionable Motives". Hannibal waits a moment to let the chant reverberate through the arena before speaking:

So how was that for a start? Not bad eh? We pinned the IWAR and Global Tag Team Champs in the middle of the ring in our first match. Hate to say I told you boys... but I did. Just keep our belts looking nice Russian Roulette, because they will belong to Questionable Motives shortly.

Now I'm sorry everyone, but Mag couldn't be here tonight. Contractual obligations in the CWL. I guess this is the downside of an inter-league tag team. It's hard to get us both together in the same place sometimes...


"The Crusher" Jax Molson yells out as he steps out onto the Tuesday Thunder stage.


Icon: Jax! How you doin' eh? I was hoping I'd see you. Where's your brother?

Jax: He's um... looks to his side expecting to see Gunnar Molson come out to the stage, but no one's there - don't you mind where my brother is. He'll be here soon enough.

Icon: Let' me guess? Out back having a dart? Rockin a whiz? Rockin the canoe with a puck bunny? Is he doing something "Canadian" Jax? That's what you boys do, isn't it? You do "Canadian" because you're "Canadian"?

You know Jax, did you forget where the Icon is from? I know you forgot who the Icon is when you and your brother decided you were going to give Adam Cash that 'gift'. But walking out here, week after week, with this sad, pathetic, Americanized stereotypical Canadian act you've got? I think you did forget where the Icon is from. Born. Bread. Raised. Canadian!

I don't care that you almost broke my arm Jax. I don't care that me and Mag apparently have to beat you to earn the privilege of getting in Adam Cash's ring. Do you know what I do care about though Jax?

You and your brother named yourselves after cheap beer. And that Jax, is the most un-Canadian thing I can imagine.

The fans cheer wildly at that burn, as Jax Molson goes ballistic on the stage. Hannibal's not done though, and keeps talking

C'mon Jax, don't be mad. You wanted to give Adam Cash a gift. That means there must be a party, right? I love parties, and I'm a good guest. I came with a present of my own. Now you want people to think you're "Canadian", right Jax? You're the "Kings of Canada" after all. So you know the tradition here Jax, ya magnificent hose beast? I brought the "Canadian Piñata".

Jax Molson gets an odd look on his face as he doesn't really understand what Hannibal is saying:

Icon: Don't understand Jax? That's alright, it's not a real thing. It is as Canadian as you though -

A giant object, wrapped in a Canadian Flag begins to lower from the rafters. It appears to be a person tied up. As the object gets closer, that person is revealed to be "The Hammer" Gunnar Molson. Tied up by both his hands and feet. Gagged. Some fresh bruises on his face. And with a Kendo Stick wrapped around his neck. Jax Molson again goes ballistic at the sight of his brother like this and begins to charge the ring. He stops at the bottom of the ramp though, because Gunnar has descended to about a foot above the ring, and Hannibal has taken the Kendo Stick from around Gunnar's neck.

Icon: Once upon a time, a promoter thought that because I said I was "Extreme" that I should carry one of these things everywhere. I never thought that promoter understood me, but he may have had a point. I think it's gonna come in pretty handy here.

Hannibal cracks Gunnar Molson right across the face with the Kendo Stick. Jax Molson immediately jumps up to the ring apron to help, but Hannibal is too quick and knocks him off the apron and onto the floor with a whack of the Kendo Stick. He then turns around and starts whacking the tied up Gunnar Molson repeatedly, cackling with delight with every single hit.

Icon: Damn this is fun. What do you think Gunner? The Canadian Piñata needs to be a real thing, doesn't it?

Hannibal keeps hitting Gunner Molson while knocking back Jax Molson every time he gets close to entering the ring. Finally after what seems like an eternity, but in reality was only a minute, the rest of Blood Money, Adam Ca$h and Fatty the Butcher charge down to the ring to assist. The three men storm the ring as Hannibal slides out and jumps into the crowd

Icon: There, now that's how you throw a party eh!

Red and White confetti pours down from the rafters as soon as Hannibal says that, and the scene fades with Blood Money trying to cut down Gunner Molson in the center of the ring, as red and white rains down on them.

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